Student group projects operate at the Mt. Everest level of difficulty. As Duke’s Dr. Bridgette Martin Hard explains, student collaboration can be confusing and ambiguous.
At Duke, Prof Ted Ryan and I are piloting a mobile pop-up Student Team Clinic to help students diagnose and treat chronic and urgent Student Team Dysfunctions (S.T.D.s).
We’ve had students tell us that working with other students on projects -or as roommates – can cause enormous stress. Some have said that their hair fell out, their stomach cramped, and they avoided activities they used to like. That’s sad! It’s why we hope to help you learn ways to better adapt to the challenge of student collaboration.
Note: While some fixes can be quick, many are not. They require practice and courage. Learning these skills doesn’t take forever, and when you do, you get your life back.
If you are in a bad student group, you have some work to do and decisions to make. Here are some places to start.
Student Team/Group First aid
****CRITICAL: Duke resources: https://students.duke.edu/wellness/
Some behaviors are much bigger and more problematic than you can or should handle. Duke has professionals to help you, and if you are given solutions, we expect you to use them.*****
Top Level Diagnosis:
Naming the problem behaviors: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team video by Patrick Lencioni: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75bO_XWk7fw
Self-reflection:
What is your goal?
What kind of values do you want to practice?
Who taught you to act like you act with other people?
Who taught them to act like they’re acting with you?
How can We > Me?
What agreements do you need today that can keep you out of trouble tomorrow?
Think about common fights you’ve had with student groups or with housemates.
Search “Team charter” for examples of agreements people make before things get heated.
Think about how to bring up “let’s have agreements about how we’ll handle disagreements” with finesse. (E.g. “I care about us understanding how to work with each other, especially as the semester gets intense. I’m not a mind-reader. May we have a conversation about how we will handle common tasks and those times when things go sideways?”)
RX for skilled relationship
1. Navigating your difficult relationships Dr. Sam Bayer, WinWin Agent – conflict coach and retired tech entrepreneur (winwinagent.org)
2.What to say: Jefferson Fisher: The Next Conversation
https://www.youtube.com/@jeffersonfisher
3.Relationship 101 Psychology: Jimmy on Relationships and https://www.youtube.com/@JimmyonRelationships
Jeffrey Meltzer, Therapy to the Point
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7tL1NmQ-wx9XuPrAj9spFg
4. Advanced: “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build more Loving Relationships” by Terrence Real https://terryreal.com/books/
Prof Ted Ryan (Theodore dot Ryan at Duke dot edu) and Prof Allegra Jordan (Allegra dot Jordan at Duke dot edu) are piloting a mobile pop up clinic to see what we might do to increase successful skilled relationships on student teams. We hope to see you out on Duke’s campus from time to time.
During the early tests of our pop up clinic pilot, you may write to us with your issues and where we can, we will respond with suggestions. We have limited bandwidth, so if you do contact us, we may take a while to respond.
Best wishes with what can be truly challenging issues!
Prof Jordan
